I seem to be in a perpetual street fight with uncertainty.
The idea of moving forward, taking a chance and risking a dream without knowing the outcome basically feels like torture. So I instinctively set up roadblocks—which I convince myself are goals—and tell myself I’ll go for my dream when I’ve crossed that distant line. That’ll guarantee success and I’ll have no chance of failing, right?
Ah, the illusion of control.
So here I am at the beginning of another year, staring down my list of “resolutions,” and realizing I’m doing it again. Buffering myself from the fear of not knowing what’s ahead. Giving myself permission to take that chance after I lose 10 pounds … save more money … finish one more project. Because then I’ll be ready. Then I won’t fail. Then it will be perfect.
But I know better than that. I know the fear of uncertainty lines the path that will lead me directly to my sad, regret-filled last words on earth: “What was I waiting for?”
Well, I’m not waiting any more. I’m officially done with fearing change, kicking the idea of perfection to the curb, and accepting that I have no control over outcomes. So I’m gathering up my dreams, putting them into action and walking forward armed with faith instead of false certainty. And if I fall down, I’ll just have to get my butt right back up.
I’ve started writing on a regular basis—just for me. I don’t know where it will lead, but I’m showing up. I even went to a workshop with Rick Bragg a few months ago and left so inspired. And I’m learning Italian! That’s been on my to-do list for years, and I finally bought the Rosetta Stone course and am trying my best not to mangle such a beautiful language.
After I folded the magazine I went to Italy, which I had always longed to do. It was life changing, and the perfect place to begin my journey of letting go. Before I left the Tuscan villa where I was staying I told the owner I would come back one day with songwriters and we would have an inspiring week immersed in creativity. And now that is happening. In October, exactly five years to the week I originally envisioned it.
I’m so happy to announce the launch of Performing Songwriter Creative Workshops, and the first few will be in Nashville—3 and 5-day events. The first one with Mary Gauthier sold out in a day and today we’re announcing a Second Mary Gauthier Songwriting Workshop in April. There will also be a July event with Beth Nielsen Chapman, And an October week in Tuscany learning songwriting, taking cooking classes, spending time in Florence, hiking around the Chianti region, eating and enjoying each other’s company. So please sign up for the Creative Workshop Newsletter to be the first to find out about these events that will each be limited to 18 or 20 people.
So here’s to 2014. I’m proposing that it’s a year to be brave, walk forward, and live our dreams. Because, really, what are we waiting for?
Category: Note From Lydia